Herby New Year! Majic Sapular chili
recipe guideline
the goal here is to turn this into something really close to a paste rather than a soup. i aim to cook out as much liquid as possible. this really concentrates all of the flavors we will be adding.
first and foremost there are two approaches to cooking this particular chili: low heat, high heat. low heat takes about idk hours, high heat takes 2 or so. i prefer high heat but that requires standing at the stove stirring the entire time its cooking. seriously, that shit will burn. dont do it that way unless youre going to take it seriously.
meat: use whatever beef you want. ive used ground beef, brisket, generic "stew meat", diced sirloin, and well pretty much everything. its all fine, it doesnt really matter.
tomatoes: i use canned. i wish i didnt but yeah, i dont know how to use fresh tomatoes. that is my next project so i will update this when i have that figured out.
peppers: there is a strong baseline of jalapeno but you can really use anything. scale up the heat however you want, replace jalapeno with chilis. whatever. chili is a flexible dish so do what you like. if you dont know just do it a bit differently each time.
this is going to be for a substantial amount of chili so adjust appropriately, im just always forced to cook as much as reasonably possible.
2.5 lbs of meat
12 jalapenos + any other peppers you may want. i wont tell you which ones, its your chili.
1 box of beef broth
2 cans black beans
2 cans kidney beans
1 small can tomato paste
56 oz diced tomatoes (stewed are great too if youre going canned)
2 cans of lager
1 lemon (juice, deseed, toss in husks of)
4 heads of garlic
2 XL sweet onions (cut sloppily, doesn't matter, trust me)
3 bay leaves
an amount of white pearl onions (yes, white)
seasonings (salt, black pepper, cayenne, paprika, cumin, chili powder, white pepper, red pepper flakes)
baking soda
1. add sweet onions, garlic, tomatoes, tomato paste, beer, lemon, bay leaves, beef broth, and peppers into your stovetop cooking device of choice. i have a nice two foot tall steel thing i use.
2. add seasonings. i have no clue the exact measurements i use. go light on salt and red pepper flakes for. keep the chili powder-cumin ratio at about 5/3. any amount of anything else is fine, just use a lot. if you're a white person double whatever the amount is that you're currently thinking. #breakthestereotype. its going to taste weird af right now but its cool.
3. bring to a boil then cook on high heat for about 90 minutes or on low heat for 8 hours, stirring when necessary. at no point should you need to put water in this chili. do not put water in the chili. ever. if you need more liquid use more beer or broth.
4. peel pearl onions. dont blanch to make it easier, just do it the hard way. or buy prepeeled.
5. towards the end of your selected time period in part 3 find all of the pieces of garlic and smash them on the side of the pot. they should be very near disintegration. remove lemon husks and bay leaves. put in a very small amount of baking soda. i use 1/2 a teaspoon with this amount.
6. add beans and pearl onions. if on high heat continue on high for another 20 min, if low 80 min. ish. at this point we're really just cooking until the pearl onions are cooked but still decently crunchy.
7. sear the meat and toss it in the pan. grease too. if you need to use oil to sear use something with a neutral flavor but high smoke point like an avocado oil (i only use avocado oil). continue to taste and season. white people continue to double what you would normally use and then some. continue to be careful with the salt and red pepper flakes, but now is the time you'd take those two to the point you want. if its still too acidic add more chili powder/cumin at the appropriate ratio. paprika can also help. but remember to create the taste that YOU want.
8. once the seasoning is perfect reduce to simmer. serve over oyster crackers and under cheddar and perhaps some green onion. (add sour cream if you must you fucking sickos)
remember, this is not a recipe, it is a guideline. change, add, or leave out whatever you think would make YOUR perfect chili
