Post by Sapular on Feb 27, 2021 16:43:40 GMT -5
Special Report from the Cleveland Plain Dealer
Written by P. Parker
In a shocking turn of events the Cleveland Cavaliers have parted ways with scouting director Dee Haslam. When reached for comment Sapular had the following to say about Dee's departure "While we appreciate what Dee did for the organization, we felt that we needed new blood in our organization. Her volatile opinions of FA's and rookies only further complicated the draft process. We wish Dee good luck in her future."
While shocking as Dee seemed to do an amazing job for the organization the Cleveland Cavaliers then made an even more shocking hiring. They have brought on the once crowned king of cycling, Lance Armstrong, as their new Sports Scientist. Lance once had a storied cycling career for it to be marred by doping and as a result he had lost all winnings and even going to to be sued by the federal government as the United States Postal Service was once a sponsor of Lance Armstrong. When asked about the shocking new hire Cavaliers GM and Owner Sapular had this to say " We acknowledge the past that Lance Armstrong has but we believe more in second chances. Lance has proven that he knows what it takes to get to the next level and have your body perform at a very high level. We are excited about Lance being able to get more out of our athletes than they would without him."
I for one am shocked by these developments as Dee seemed to do an amazing job, however we are not behind those closed doors. In a related note, we have received word from an unnamed anonymous source that GM Sapular was overheard saying "If you aint cheatin you aint tryin." While this claim is unsubstantiated, would be devastating to the team if found to be true. We will stay close to this story and look for further developments.
