Post by killiam bing on Jul 26, 2022 9:18:09 GMT -5
Celtics (6-1)
Is this team for real? Brad Daugherty Michael Jordan and Justinian Jessup look like they could actually be something after years of being mismanaged. Ank looks like a fool for shitting on Jessup!
Pacers (6-1)
Who needs Xavier Henry? The Pacers are on a roll and destined for Eastern Conference greatness. Okongwu and Whiteside form an absolute beast level big man rotation, and Frank the tank will continue on forever.
Cougars (5-2)
Cougars are literal geniuses after getting rid of noted bust Sergio Rodriguez for 10 delicious uppies. Charlie Bell and Ricky Ledo both have really high inside, AKA 20s is the best GM of all time and will likely win the whole thing.
Hornets (5-4)
Underscoring how fucking terrible the east is, the Hornets currently have a winning record AND cap space. Malachi Flynn is literally the 2nd coming of Kyrie Irving, and Hornets games are absolutely popping in Charlotte. Asked for tips on how to beat the crowd, mazunga advised fans to just wait until the game finishes.
Raptors (5-4)
What do you call a dozen millionaires watching the playoffs on TV? The Toronto Raptors. HA. They’re having a fire sale, but no one is buying. Will be surprised if they manage anything of note again in 6.0
Bullets (4-3)
No blurb necessary for compu-team
Hawks (4-5)
I tried to check the hawks website to get their player stats, but they didn’t have one. I guess they can’t string three W’s together.
Pipers (3-5)
Bulls (1-7)
Formal request to eric to not contract the Bulls so there’s less friction for Mike to return.
Rockets (7-1)
Possibly the best team in the league, the Oladipo pickup was absolutely clutch. How will dirt feel after finishing 2nd in his own division after trading the Huckster?
Trailblazers (6-1)
Who cares about Hassan Whiteside when you have Tyson Chandler and David West? The Trailblazers are not a mirage and are possibly the best team that has ever existed.
Mavericks (4-0)
The Mavericks notably fleeced the compu-bullets by actually getting a pick in return for sending George for Arenas. How does dirt do it?
Bucks (5-2)
Possibly the worst constructed team in this series, the Bucks are a team in transition from bad to worse. No one on this roster is worth much of anything, especially Rudy Gay.
Supersonics (4-1)
What’s the difference between the Seattle GM and a baby? The baby will quit whining after awhile. Timpig has taken the whining to a whole new level lately, and you can see why when looking at his roster.
Jazz (5-2)
Possibly the hottest young team in the league, noted studs Len Bias and Chris King anchor an explosive roster made of elite talent. However, Sergio looks like dog shit and eric should have vetoed that trade.
Nuggets (5-2)
Perhaps the saddest team in the league, Shaq, Kwame, and Barkley just go through the motions in Denver, knowing the FO will never be able to put together a real roster that is capable of competing at the highest level.
Grizzlies (4-2)
Robert has swiftly gone from great to good to regrettable contract. Joseph Forte is washed up, and Butch Lee is a shell of his old self. One has to wonder how the Grizzlies managed to win 4 games, and then you notice they beat the 76ers, Knicks, Bulls and Hawks.
Lakers (4-3)
Word on the street is that Pete is only dressing 8 players for the season. Apparently the rest are able to dress themselves.
Kings (2-5)
Noted GM who definitely isn’t me, montreal dude has done a solid job assembling a decent roster, but a terrible job at setting his DC. Carmelo Anthony looks like the best wing in the league that isn’t Lebron, and Melvin Robinson looks like a very strong D/R big. Look for good things to come in Sacramento.
Chaparrals (1-5)
Why are the Chaparrals changing their names to the Possums? Because they play dead at home, and die on the road.
Spurs (0-5)
What do Spurs fans do after watching their team win a game? Rewind the VHS tape.
Is this team for real? Brad Daugherty Michael Jordan and Justinian Jessup look like they could actually be something after years of being mismanaged. Ank looks like a fool for shitting on Jessup!
Pacers (6-1)
Who needs Xavier Henry? The Pacers are on a roll and destined for Eastern Conference greatness. Okongwu and Whiteside form an absolute beast level big man rotation, and Frank the tank will continue on forever.
Cavaliers (6-2)
This team is a beast, Kareem Abdul Jabbar, and Isaiah Stewart form literally the best big man duo of all time, and Kevin Porter Jr is possibly the best wing prospect ever. What will Sap do after winning the Finals? Probably turn off the Playstation and go to bed.
Cougars (5-2)
Cougars are literal geniuses after getting rid of noted bust Sergio Rodriguez for 10 delicious uppies. Charlie Bell and Ricky Ledo both have really high inside, AKA 20s is the best GM of all time and will likely win the whole thing.
Knicks (5-4)
Up until a few days ago, the only Knicks players with a ring were all senior citizens. Things changed with Huckaby coming to town, but the wins haven’t shown up yet. Zion is a notorious shit-tier 1.1 that makes the Marc Gasol pick look like rocket science.
Hornets (5-4)
Underscoring how fucking terrible the east is, the Hornets currently have a winning record AND cap space. Malachi Flynn is literally the 2nd coming of Kyrie Irving, and Hornets games are absolutely popping in Charlotte. Asked for tips on how to beat the crowd, mazunga advised fans to just wait until the game finishes.
Raptors (5-4)
What do you call a dozen millionaires watching the playoffs on TV? The Toronto Raptors. HA. They’re having a fire sale, but no one is buying. Will be surprised if they manage anything of note again in 6.0
Bullets (4-3)
No blurb necessary for compu-team
Hawks (4-5)
I tried to check the hawks website to get their player stats, but they didn’t have one. I guess they can’t string three W’s together.
Pipers (3-5)
Alley Oops! The pipers are complete garbage and so is their top pick, Ja Morant. You’d think a team with Cousins would at least make some noise, but appears to not be enough.
Formal request to eric to not contract the Bulls so there’s less friction for Mike to return.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Possibly the best team in the league, the Oladipo pickup was absolutely clutch. How will dirt feel after finishing 2nd in his own division after trading the Huckster?
Trailblazers (6-1)
Who cares about Hassan Whiteside when you have Tyson Chandler and David West? The Trailblazers are not a mirage and are possibly the best team that has ever existed.
Mavericks (4-0)
The Mavericks notably fleeced the compu-bullets by actually getting a pick in return for sending George for Arenas. How does dirt do it?
Bucks (5-2)
Possibly the worst constructed team in this series, the Bucks are a team in transition from bad to worse. No one on this roster is worth much of anything, especially Rudy Gay.
Supersonics (4-1)
What’s the difference between the Seattle GM and a baby? The baby will quit whining after awhile. Timpig has taken the whining to a whole new level lately, and you can see why when looking at his roster.
Jazz (5-2)
Possibly the hottest young team in the league, noted studs Len Bias and Chris King anchor an explosive roster made of elite talent. However, Sergio looks like dog shit and eric should have vetoed that trade.
Nuggets (5-2)
Perhaps the saddest team in the league, Shaq, Kwame, and Barkley just go through the motions in Denver, knowing the FO will never be able to put together a real roster that is capable of competing at the highest level.
Grizzlies (4-2)
Robert has swiftly gone from great to good to regrettable contract. Joseph Forte is washed up, and Butch Lee is a shell of his old self. One has to wonder how the Grizzlies managed to win 4 games, and then you notice they beat the 76ers, Knicks, Bulls and Hawks.
Lakers (4-3)
Word on the street is that Pete is only dressing 8 players for the season. Apparently the rest are able to dress themselves.
Kings (2-5)
Noted GM who definitely isn’t me, montreal dude has done a solid job assembling a decent roster, but a terrible job at setting his DC. Carmelo Anthony looks like the best wing in the league that isn’t Lebron, and Melvin Robinson looks like a very strong D/R big. Look for good things to come in Sacramento.
Chaparrals (1-5)
Why are the Chaparrals changing their names to the Possums? Because they play dead at home, and die on the road.
Spurs (0-5)
What do Spurs fans do after watching their team win a game? Rewind the VHS tape.
