Fason Interviews Fason - An Inurfason Joint
Jul 8, 2021 21:11:04 GMT -5
Herby New Year!, Handsome Pete, and 2 more like this
Post by Fason on Jul 8, 2021 21:11:04 GMT -5
I'm just goofing this is my edition of random rankings. I'm retired from the interview bit. Eat shit Ian, I'm now off the clock.
Fason's Random Rankings
4. Being in the dark on Kina Updates
While I follow Kina on YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Pinterest and her dedicated reddit community. I’ve just felt in the dark with what’s going on in her and Jesse’s lives. It feels good to be getting the inside scoop again.
3. Being apart of a community that would call Rashida Jones a the 2nd Hottest black woman
That really happened, this league did that. All we can do is learn, grow and evolve. What a perfect representation of what the league is about in regards to exploiting loopholes and technicalities.
2. Accumulating assets
I was known in 4.0 for loving and utilizing tanking, however more than picking in the top 4, I loved the asset accumulation. The security of having 17 future first round picks to spend down the road was like having a big warm blanket at night in the dead of winter. I could have been having a terrible day, but being able to tell myself it's going to be alright because in a couple sim seasons I can trade 8 firsts for a star PG would make things better.
1. Drama/Nonsense
I’ve gotten annoyed with people plenty of times, however sim league has never pissed me off or made me personally attack anyone. So getting to watch beefs from the sidelines while people question another’s character is AMAZING. Taking a break from work to read an argument in shout or reading a multi page thread about somebody being a scumbag puts the biggest smile on my face. Oh and how could I forgot the uproar when the league feels someone exploits a rule, that’s nirvana. Bankz and Billy please never stop. Dump, you need to get in the groove and get going.
With the Olympics around the corner there is one event in particular that I’m very eager to watch, 3 on 3 basketball.
Below are the rules which I heavily took into consideration with these rankings.
-Each team consist of 4 players (3 players on the court and 1 substitute)
-12 Second Shot Clock
-Threes count as 2 and Twos count as 1
-First team to reach 21 points or best after 10 minutes win
*Yes I know it's scrubs playing in the irl Olympics, but for this exercise I used top players on the chosen teams.
Honorable Mentions
Let the record show that I was considering the Bucks, Clippers, Heat and Cavs for this spot. Probably would have gone Clippers before the Sampson trade, now they’re a big centric team with guards/wings that I though were too young or didn't provide enough scoring. I may have undervalued the Bucks based on a lack of star power besides Horford. Heat have three big names but the fit is clunky and they would be poor mans version of some similar teams. Cavs are legit if these Cenk numbers continue, but he and maybe Lopez would be their only elite talent.
10. Pacers
Clyde Drexler, Andrew Bynum, Derek Harper, Omer Asik
Pacers got the nod due to the star power with Drexler and Bynum. Harper is a solid PG. I struggled to pick their 4th so went with Asik since Heebs seems to have high hopes for him and will use upgrades. Drexler and Bynum are elite and would be one of the top 2 on 2 combos, but their running mates hold them back in this tournament. (Watch Heebs rub this in my face when they win the sim title this year. You’re welcome for the bulletin board material.)
9. Bullets
Joe Alexander, Kevin Love, Wayne Estes, Vin Baker
Maybe a surprise the Bullets are included but that is a strong offensive four. Alexander is one of the better scorers in the league and I haven’t seen too many people talk about him in terms of best players. I think playing style would limit this team since there is no PG. I probably should have Slokar on the team to provide a little defense but their only shot to win is to outscore everyone.
8. Amigos
Ervin Johnson, Doug Wrenn, Eric Gordon, Larry Smith
No disrespect to the defending champs but they have the look of a team where the 12 man sum is much greater the parts. They’d be a problem for teams on the glass, but I think they’re ceiling would be limited without a guard to create. Unless Billy’s recent changes to Wrenn prove he’s the smartest GM in the league. I went back and forth on Dudley and Gordon, swapped in Gordon based on Billy’s minute distribution.
7. Grizzlies
Andray Blachte, Jimmy Butler, Nikola Vucevic, Mike Conley
This team gave me the hardest time with picking 4 players due to their depth (Druce has lots of trade chips). I’m sure Druce would go in another direction with who to choose. I thought this four gave them the best shot with the shot clock. Big fan of this sim team and expect them to jump a tier in the upcoming season and 3013 Olympics.
6. Timberwolves
Chris Paul, James Blackmon, Luke Maye, Deandre Jordan
First team listed that has the advantage of an elite guard capable of beating their man off the dribble and running PnR (I'm not overreacting to sim 1). This team would be a bitch to guard when going small and playing their top 3, but would get murdered on the boards and have trouble defending at all. I included Jordan over Noah because of the shot blocking and over Austin because his stats say he’d be more effective as a dive man to the rim.
5. Cougars
Nick Van Exel, Ron Perry, Greg Oden, Shawn Bradley
Big fan of the make up of this team and how each player would have a defined role. Perry’s volume scoring and deep shooting would allow him a chance to be the MVP of the tournament. I’m a big fan of NVE as he reminds me of the non cheat code prototype PG of sim yesteryears. Oden would be a scoring threat downlow and eraser on defense, he’ll have his work cut out for him helping two smaller guards.
4. Sixers
Martell Webster, Dale Ellis, Antoine Carr, Gal Mekel
Carr, Webster and Ellis is one of the best collection of scorers in the league. An overall great collection of talent in the league but their strengths aren’t too conducive for 3 on 3. Webster and Ellis are elite rebounders for their positions so I decided to go with Mekel over Gasol due to the added dimension he’d bring and to give them some three point shooting. The lack of defense and three point shooting keeps them from being in the top 3.
3. Chaps
Nikola Jokic, Danny Grange, Theodoros Papaloukas, Tyreese Breshers
The most versatile team since they can go big or play traditional. They would be the most fun team to watch since their top 3 are all good passers. Granger is dreamy AF. I moved them up since they were able to hang onto Brashers. They’re the only team that could matchup with both of the top two teams.
2. Hawks
Roy Hibbert, Antonio Gates, Rodney McCray, Derrick Coleman
This team would physically beat the shit out of teams and be impossible to keep off the glass. Their length and size could make up for the lack of pure quickness against the teams with great guards. They’re also the only team that seems to have 2 cheat code players (Gates and Derrick Coleman). Gates with his size is able to play point forward and punish teams that would guard him with an SG or PG. I had Randolph on the squad before seeing Coleman’s PS and sim 1 stats.
1. Knicks
Kyrie Irving, Joel Embiid, Wilson Chandler, Dave Jamerson
This team has the most traditional and well rounded makeup of any team. They check all the boxes with an elite PG, two way big, glue guy wing and sharpshooting two guard. Kyrie/Embiid PnR would be the most difficult combo to guard and the third defender wouldn’t be able to help off Jamerson. Chandler would provide enough size and rebounding to help out Embiid.
Based on this info which I’ll put at the very bottom of the post since it’s very long, I'll include a link to the spreadsheet for the draft too. These rankings are also from my rough memory of who Eric has besmirched before.
Link to All Time NBA Draft:
They did eight rounds and had to pick a coach. Weren't really too strict with positions.
docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/10Ef8m5y6QeNADC_ZHw0gkbJETQH-ZffHG4JjAO5nRsE/edit?usp=sharing
Here's what Eric's full thoughts were on the draft.
i took everyone's career WS/48 and projected out a season total for everyone, but didn't use it as gospel because of eras, fits, etc.
there's three elite teams and six real good ones that i marked.
raptors 59
way too many one dimensional scorer types. granted, they're all really really good scorer types, but only one guy gets to shoot per play. need a lot more defending, shooting. four guys standing around in the midrange isn't gonna work.
76ers 62
lot of good second banana types. should definitely start Cooper over Simmons so they have a prayer defensively, especially with D'Antoni coaching.
celtics 66
Karl Malone couldn't defend guys his own size, and you want him to chase around smaller guys? good luck with that. this team is STACKED with players who put up great stats until it mattered, love them as a first round massive upset pick in the hypothetical playoffs.
knicks 69 ELITE
the best of the best. Chauncey is severely underrated as a player and is a perfect superstar for this kind of exercise, Kawhi when healthy is the best player in the league, Davis is a little overrated but his defensive deficiencies are covered up by Kawhi/Embiid, it's extremely early to tell anything about Mitchell but even if he busts Arenas slots in extremely well to that role, or you can go nuclear with Mitchell 3 Kawhi 4. everyone in the lineup can shoot, there's great length, Sabonis is legendary icing on the cake. great job.
nets 58
yucky yuck yuck. Kyrie couldn't get along with LeBron James and you think it's gonna work with Kobe? at least they've got well known calming presence Draymond Green to keep the locker room together.
cavaliers 62
some good, some bad. Moses is a fine centerpiece. Horford and Allen are great picks - defend, shoot, pass, don't hog the ball. Dantley always put up elite stats but his teams never did anything, and the Pistons infamously added by subtracting him.
i can't believe this team doesn't have the worst third round pick of a player surnamed Rose, but man, D Rose here is a huge reach. he could never shoot or defend, his one skill was dominating the ball and scoring, which is the worst possible skill to have on a dream team. being taken two picks ahead of Billups is especially glaring but even undrafted guys like George Hill or Mark Price would be a dramatic improvement on the team's fit.
pacers 56
not sure why the stats hate this team so much. Nash and Cousins is a horrific fit, but at least Cousins can shoot a little unlike Shaq, and Steve did get to 46 wins even with decrepit Shaq. McGrady and a largely immobile center didn't work out too terribly well either. i like a super small lineup of Nash Conley McGrady Mullin Millsap, but i'd like it even more if Indiana had grabbed a stretch big like Rashard Lewis or Detlef Schrempf instead of useless Jamal Crawford. GM Doc sabotaging head coach Doc yet again smh
bucks 57
there aren't even enough touches for Westbrook and Iverson, let alone fitting in MVP Bob McAdoo. nobody on the team can shoot, Nelson loves small ball and the only option of the bench is yet another high volume inefficient combo guard, what is even going on here.
pistons 60 GOOD
Moncrief is the most egregious hall of fame snub in basketball. super elite defender, scores with efficiency, part of a supremely underrated 80s Bucks team. Klay Thompson is a great fit in the backcourt. neither of them can facilitate full time but on a dream team you don't really need that kind of player. Hakeem is obviously the gold standard for two way big play.
the spacing is a little tight and i'd have liked a Korver/Peja type instead of Marion. it's shocking that Tyson Chandler fell to the seventh round, i might even start him next to Hakeem, who was excellent switching onto the perimeter. this would make adding a pure shooter over Marion even more palatable, three DPOYs give a lot more slack.
also surprised Carlisle dropped so far. i think he's overrated considering he hasn't won a playoff round since 2011, but compared to Byron Scott i mean come on.
bulls 53
Bird is a fine start. he shouldn't go ahead of Magic or several other players but it's fine. Rodman in the second round is a reach. drafting Ben Wallace right after makes absolutely no sense. they're the same player - great defender, great rebounder, massive offensive liability. if you really have to draft another big here, at least get a guy who cracked 45% from the line for his career.
it didn't go downhill from there but it didn't go very far uphill either. this team is a mess, and i'm gonna go right ahead and underestimate the heart of a champion.
heat 50
Wade is a great player who can play well with other greats. unfortunately there aren't any on this team. pretty easily the worst team in the draft. good move getting Auerbach in the third round, he'll trade everyone on the team for Joel Embiid and build a dynasty.
wizards 56
they'd probably never get a national tv game but i like the composition of this team, lot of hard nosed toughness players and also LaMarcus Aldridge, boom, roasted. the spacing is probably not workable even with elite shooter Allan Houston but that's what JR and Nate off the bench are for, and Russell and Worthy are both solid secondary passers. this is a team that's going to try to win each game 45-44 which is great for college basketball fans but here in the real world it's garbage.
hornets 61
aside from Hal Greer this has to be an all time great fuccboi team. Elgin retired from a team that went on to win 33 straight and a title, if Charles Barkley chased rings as hard as he chased doughnuts he'd be Bill Russell, Deron Williams' hairline, David Thompson skywalked his way right out of the league. there is talent on this team but it's a mish mosh of parts.
magic 65 ELITE
this team is elite. you've got your GOAT, you've got an elite rim protector, you've got spacing with Peja and another elite perimeter defender in Clyde who demonstrably doesn't mind sharing the ball with a dominant perimeter player (Earl Monroe). the Larry Johnson pick is the head scratcher, at that point you're really looking for more floor spacing since neither MJ nor Clyde are three point threats, and Cheap Shot Rob Horry is sitting right there. or you can go with an upside play with Karl-Anthony Towns. but the Magic salvage it with Shane Battier, and it's a travesty he lasted to the seventh round.
they can play ground and pound with Grandmama, or they can play basketball with Battier at power forward, and when Horry starts a fight because he has no moral fiber you've got Oakley there to clean house.
hawks 56
i assume this team is designed to cause Tim Duncan to bug his eyes so far out of his head they fall out, and great job if so. Starbury and Metta alone are enough shenanigans for the job, throw in Rip Hamilton's goofball free throw routine and Pat Riley's blowhard antics and it's over.
trail blazers 72 GOOD
the stats LOVE this team, i'm not so sure it would work out IRL. it's the first team i've seen where every player was a legit star in their era, but a lot of those eras were 40+ years ago. Pitchin' Paul Arizin and Billy Cunningham were elite for white guys who played next to Wilt Chamberlain, does that translate at all to the modern NBA? hard to see the Kangaroo Kid ripping down 13 boards a night these days. Stockton shot 38% from three for his career, he'd do just fine, and with him and Ginobili the ball is going to fly around, sometimes into the other team's hands but those are the breaks.
put this team in the 60s and they're a juggernaut. but put any recent elite player in the 60s and they're a juggernaut, so i don't love their chances.
thunder 73 GOOD
as above, but in the 50s. good luck getting past McCarthy, Drazen. they were all so great in their eras i feel like they'd at least be good in modern day, but who knows.
jazz 63
this team pretty clearly went with all secondary types after their centerpiece, which is a smart chemistry idea. one of the ways to get around not having enough shooting is to be a great passing team, but between Shaq who thought he could pass but couldn't and McHale who didn't even know the word pass existed, that's out the window. Joey Two-Phones and Paulie California can shoot just fine, so that's alright. i don't get the point of Tony Parker on this team at all - we saw a great pick and roll point guard (Steve Nash) play with Shaq and we all really regretted it. i feel like a Lillard type is the way to go there, you still have a guy with juice off the dribble but he's not a liability without the ball, and you're not losing anything on the defensive end because there was nothing there to lose heyooo
every time Isaiah Thomas has been on a team with another very good player it's blown up theatrically. every time Tony Allen has been in the modern playoffs he's been run off the floor. really don't like either of those picks for this exercise. i'd rather have even a 3 and D scrub like Sefolosha, at this point it's more about fit than throwing in more raw talent.
timberwolves 64
there's a lot of awards hardware on this team, but i can't imagine it working out. Westphal was (briefly) a fantastic scorer but just double him and triple Wilt and how does this team score. Bob Cousy's 38 FG% isn't gonna cut it. on the other end, how do you defend with two point guards and three centers?
swapping in Ibaka for Brand is a no brainer, but without any actual wings i don't see this team doing anything.
nuggets 55
you don't want to put too many #1 guys on the same team. but you probably want to have at least one, and Wes Unseld isn't the guy. instead of Pop - Nique the nuggets could have had CP3 - Kawhi, or at least Nash - Allen. Yao is a good get in the third round but by that point the damage was done.
warriors 57
Magic is a top five all time player, so you can't go wrong drafting him. once you do, though, you need to get players who defend down a position for the rest of your perimeter, a la Byron Scott the "shooting guard", Jamaal Wilkes the "small forward", etc. the warriors didn't do that. and they didn't even get guys who were all that good, even though Mitch Richmond's HoF is overly maligned.
i love the offensive capability of this team with Magic and all that shooting, but Zo is the only plus defender, and even though he's a big plus i don't think trying to win 170-160 is viable. now, what if we grab Klay Thompson instead of Mitch Richmond? his whole career he's been guarding PGs for a guy who can't and doing a reasonable job of it. and what if instead of Glenn Robinson we go with Danny Green? yeah, now we're talking! but we didn't do that. so this team isn't great.
clippers 67 GOOD
there's a lot to like about this team. Black Jesus and Scottie Pippen both did pretty well for themselves playing next to a HoF guard. Amar'e before his injuries was a truly elite offensive player - how does 70% at the rim and 47% on long twos over 10k minutes grab you? Larry Nance gives you some interior defense, or flip to Rashard Lewis for some floor spacing. Jason Terry can make dumb airplane gestures to distract Byron Scott from messing up your team for you. it's not a top team, but it's the top of the second tier for sure.
lakers 66 GOOD
it's inconceivable Steph Curry lasted to 1.20. add in Harden and you have the ideal scoring backcourt - two extraordinarily efficient players, don't mind sharing the floor with another primary handler, and whose elite skills (shooting off the dribble, drawing fouls) are essentially unstoppable and fundamentally warp opposing defenses. even if we were playing in the 70s, i'll take curry's ability to drain 45% of his looks from 25 feet whenever he wants.
obviously there are huge question marks defensively with this pairing, and the rest of the team is a reasonably good effort to cover that. Gobert's defensive prowess is well established and DeBusschere made six All-Defensive first teams. Giannis is to me too much of a wildcard. yes his arms are 19 feet long, yes he's an explosive athlete who makes all kinds of highlight reel plays... but if he's actually good, why is his team struggling to break .500? i'd rather have a Shane Battier type here, a reliable defender and shooter.
kings 54
Julius Erving struggled his whole career with unreliable front offices. this team drafted Jalen Rose in the third round and Mark Jackson as a coach. the Doctor should feel right at home.
suns 59
no idea what this team is doing. if you want to run a twin inner hub offense with Garnett and Love so you don't need a traditional point guard, great, but what are Vince and Grant doing for you without the ball in their hands? who's chasing the opposing point guard over screens, Kyle Korver? instead of getting cute with Carter at PG, a Chauncey Billups or even a Jimmy Butler type would have really brought this team together.
spurs 54
Jerry West is a real solid first pick. Mr. Outside was supposedly an elite defender and had plenty of range, which is a great combo. the Isiah pick is really befuddling. you've already got your point guard, and West is dramatically better. there's also a lot of overlap between Shawn Kemp and Kristaps Porzingis as black hole big fellas with solid outside games, but at least they're both spacing the floor, unlike Isiah "career 29% from three" Thomas. Jamal Mashburn seems like just a guy. you don't want too many chefs, true, but there are more interesting role players.
rockets 63 ELITE
i love the first four picks. Durant behind Oscar, Karl, Kobe is a joke. Payton is a bit of a reach in the second since he was a way worse shooter than you'd think, but Bosh and Gasol are massive steals. Gasol and Payton defense speaks for itself, Durant is a defensive minus when playing out of position but sliding him up to power forward with two competent wings is a recipe for enormous success.
unfortunately the rockets drafted DeMar DeRozan.
you'd love to see a Michael Cooper type there, roll out a Payton - Cooper - Beal - Durant - Gasol lineup and it's over for you bros. i even like DeAndre as a PnR changeup or big body to jostle with a 70s style team. and to be fair, DeRozan isn't that bad. this is an elite team even with him, but could be the clear #1 with This One Weird Trick.
pelicans 55
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar had success only when playing with an elite supersized point guard. Victor Oladipo is not that guy. this roster looks a lot more like the 'repeatedly missing the playoffs' Cap of the mid 70s. KAT and KAJ is extremely tantalizing but adding Carmelo exacerbates the defensive weakness of KAT and doesn't add anything at all. you want everyone to stand around watching an iso scoring opportunity? it's called a sky hook, and Kareem actually made them efficiently. there's no pace, the bench is a joke, the coach is a hack.
mavericks 70 GOOD
the perimeter is pretty interesting. none of the guys are legit superstars you'd want to build a team around, but they're all really really really good and two way players. Oscar and Butler would usually come to blows within about two seconds of the first practice but everyone's profound respect for George Mikan and George Mikan's glasses would defuse the tempers. Aguirre and Hayward were both severely overrated at different points in their careers but look real good as instant offense bench guys. Mikan's game wouldn't translate to the modern NBA but nobody who was that good would be completely hopeless, so i'll give this team a solid very good rating, and without having to spend money on players Calipari would have plenty of resources to bribe the refs instead, so you've got that going for you.
grizzlies 64
i'm legitimately mad that this is the roster LeBron got saddled with. it's hard to have to wait two whole rounds to pick again, but Dwight Howard / Tim Hardaway? really? REALLY?
REALLY???
Pau or Bosh instead of Dwight, Klay or Chauncey instead of Hardaway, and then we'd be on to something. Andre Iguodala is overrated but at least he fits the premise. pairing Blake and Dwight is gross at all, let alone on a team with LeBron. i can't even with this
*5.0 GMs stfu about how good or bad they were before, these are my thoughts and you can’t change them. Eric has spoken…to me.
“Jerry West is a real solid first pick. Mr. Outside was supposedly an elite defender and had plenty of range, which is a great combo. the Isiah pick is really befuddling. you've already got your point guard, and West is dramatically better.” - Eric
Whole league is desperate for PGs that can score. I think Eric has too much respect the logo and game to not give him all the tools to become elite.
2. Ama're Stoudamire
“Amar'e before his injuries was a truly elite offensive player - how does 70% at the rim and 47% on long twos over 10k minutes grab you?” - Eric
Al Horford/Derrick Coleman type of big? Yao Ming seems like a very safe pick for 1.1 this year but wouldn’t fault Skrouse on swinging for the fences by taking Amare since he should have very high potential.
1. Arvydas Sabonis
“Sabonis is legendary icing on the cake.” - Eric
I’m making plenty assumptions here, he seems tailor made for this iteration of the league. May not be as lucky with the shot blocking like Jokic and Webber, should though be in that same realm of good scoring, rebounding and assists to turnovers.
1. Allen Iverson
I don't have any receipts of Eric shitting on Iverson, but I can recall seeing disparaging comments and the analytics hate AI. Potential condolences to Trofie, fitting that he drafted Chris Jackson because that seems comparable to where Iverson could start. Can we please bring back the reward that allowed a GM to make a player as a lifetime achievement award for Trofie? All the guy wants during his sim lifetime is to have one good version of Allen Iverson, please.
Going to try something new and do a bonus non-sim related topic to see how this goes. The below came from my off the wall thoughts after an edible this past weekend.
Warning, don't open if you're using your work computer or viewing in public.
Current NBA Figures America Wants on Blacked.com
5. Jabari Parker (with Rachel Nichols)
First thing, Jabari is obviously well proportioned relative to his height. Feel terrible for him that this was captured as I’m sure we’ve all been there at one point, we at least had a textbook or backpack to conceal it.
This is a two-for, I’m including Rachel Nichols because it’s topical and this would provide some damage control for her. Your probably yelling right now Fason, you idiot. Rachel Nichols is way too thicc for Blacked, they prefer girls that are petite! I’m willing to bet they’d make an exception for this PAWG.
4. Kawhi Leonard
There isn’t any photographic evidence out there of Kawhi’s piece, but I’m including him based on the principal of big hands. Dude could palm a watermelon and hold enough fruit to embarrass Druce. My only concern is that he might be a male starfish/pillow princess.
3. Serge Ibaka
What we can gather from this picture is that little Keri Hilson is obviously a size queen and that compression short technology has saved this man's thighs from taking a beating with that bad boy clanging and banging everywhere. Serge is who I think should be the ladies choice for number 1. He has a cooking show on YouTube where he cooks things like snake and bull penis so you know he has no inhibitions on eating anything.
2. Lebron James
Yea, you’re going to need to zoom in, not good. For over two decades thots have been speculating and making assumptions on Lebron based off his stature and bow leggedness. What a letdown if arguably the greatest and most impressive athlete of all time has possibly a small to average piece (compared to height). I say possibly for 2 reasons, first is he obviously grows instead shows and second is that high activity is known to cause shrinkage. Google says “When men exercise, they may temporarily experience shrinking testicles and a small penis sometimes referred to as a gym dick. Don't fear. A slightly smaller penis is simply a short-term physiological effect, and while it may not make locker rooms any more comfortable, it's nothing to be concerned about.”
Keep hope alive!
While I doubt he grows enough to come close to Serge Ibaka flaccid or Kawhi. I’m betting he’s bigger than say a Paul George and his shit doesn’t severely lean in one direction like Draymond Green.
1. Becky Hammon
First I want to say it’s BS that the irl Blazers didn’t hire her, obvious case of lookism.
As far as Blacked.com, I’m not sure their servers could handle the traffic a Becky appearance would cause. Imagine Kim Kardashian’s champagne “break the internet”, now triple that hysteria.
Look at her, she is just so sexy and drop dead gorgeous. I’m going to stop myself here before I make anyone uncomfortable.
Things I Missed and Why I Came Back
4. Being in the dark on Kina Updates
While I follow Kina on YouTube, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Pinterest and her dedicated reddit community. I’ve just felt in the dark with what’s going on in her and Jesse’s lives. It feels good to be getting the inside scoop again.
3. Being apart of a community that would call Rashida Jones a the 2nd Hottest black woman
That really happened, this league did that. All we can do is learn, grow and evolve. What a perfect representation of what the league is about in regards to exploiting loopholes and technicalities.
2. Accumulating assets
I was known in 4.0 for loving and utilizing tanking, however more than picking in the top 4, I loved the asset accumulation. The security of having 17 future first round picks to spend down the road was like having a big warm blanket at night in the dead of winter. I could have been having a terrible day, but being able to tell myself it's going to be alright because in a couple sim seasons I can trade 8 firsts for a star PG would make things better.
1. Drama/Nonsense
I’ve gotten annoyed with people plenty of times, however sim league has never pissed me off or made me personally attack anyone. So getting to watch beefs from the sidelines while people question another’s character is AMAZING. Taking a break from work to read an argument in shout or reading a multi page thread about somebody being a scumbag puts the biggest smile on my face. Oh and how could I forgot the uproar when the league feels someone exploits a rule, that’s nirvana. Bankz and Billy please never stop. Dump, you need to get in the groove and get going.
Top 3 on 3 Teams
With the Olympics around the corner there is one event in particular that I’m very eager to watch, 3 on 3 basketball.
Below are the rules which I heavily took into consideration with these rankings.
-Each team consist of 4 players (3 players on the court and 1 substitute)
-12 Second Shot Clock
-Threes count as 2 and Twos count as 1
-First team to reach 21 points or best after 10 minutes win
*Yes I know it's scrubs playing in the irl Olympics, but for this exercise I used top players on the chosen teams.
Honorable Mentions
Let the record show that I was considering the Bucks, Clippers, Heat and Cavs for this spot. Probably would have gone Clippers before the Sampson trade, now they’re a big centric team with guards/wings that I though were too young or didn't provide enough scoring. I may have undervalued the Bucks based on a lack of star power besides Horford. Heat have three big names but the fit is clunky and they would be poor mans version of some similar teams. Cavs are legit if these Cenk numbers continue, but he and maybe Lopez would be their only elite talent.
10. Pacers
Clyde Drexler, Andrew Bynum, Derek Harper, Omer Asik
Pacers got the nod due to the star power with Drexler and Bynum. Harper is a solid PG. I struggled to pick their 4th so went with Asik since Heebs seems to have high hopes for him and will use upgrades. Drexler and Bynum are elite and would be one of the top 2 on 2 combos, but their running mates hold them back in this tournament. (Watch Heebs rub this in my face when they win the sim title this year. You’re welcome for the bulletin board material.)
9. Bullets
Joe Alexander, Kevin Love, Wayne Estes, Vin Baker
Maybe a surprise the Bullets are included but that is a strong offensive four. Alexander is one of the better scorers in the league and I haven’t seen too many people talk about him in terms of best players. I think playing style would limit this team since there is no PG. I probably should have Slokar on the team to provide a little defense but their only shot to win is to outscore everyone.
8. Amigos
Ervin Johnson, Doug Wrenn, Eric Gordon, Larry Smith
No disrespect to the defending champs but they have the look of a team where the 12 man sum is much greater the parts. They’d be a problem for teams on the glass, but I think they’re ceiling would be limited without a guard to create. Unless Billy’s recent changes to Wrenn prove he’s the smartest GM in the league. I went back and forth on Dudley and Gordon, swapped in Gordon based on Billy’s minute distribution.
7. Grizzlies
Andray Blachte, Jimmy Butler, Nikola Vucevic, Mike Conley
This team gave me the hardest time with picking 4 players due to their depth (Druce has lots of trade chips). I’m sure Druce would go in another direction with who to choose. I thought this four gave them the best shot with the shot clock. Big fan of this sim team and expect them to jump a tier in the upcoming season and 3013 Olympics.
6. Timberwolves
Chris Paul, James Blackmon, Luke Maye, Deandre Jordan
First team listed that has the advantage of an elite guard capable of beating their man off the dribble and running PnR (I'm not overreacting to sim 1). This team would be a bitch to guard when going small and playing their top 3, but would get murdered on the boards and have trouble defending at all. I included Jordan over Noah because of the shot blocking and over Austin because his stats say he’d be more effective as a dive man to the rim.
5. Cougars
Nick Van Exel, Ron Perry, Greg Oden, Shawn Bradley
Big fan of the make up of this team and how each player would have a defined role. Perry’s volume scoring and deep shooting would allow him a chance to be the MVP of the tournament. I’m a big fan of NVE as he reminds me of the non cheat code prototype PG of sim yesteryears. Oden would be a scoring threat downlow and eraser on defense, he’ll have his work cut out for him helping two smaller guards.
4. Sixers
Martell Webster, Dale Ellis, Antoine Carr, Gal Mekel
Carr, Webster and Ellis is one of the best collection of scorers in the league. An overall great collection of talent in the league but their strengths aren’t too conducive for 3 on 3. Webster and Ellis are elite rebounders for their positions so I decided to go with Mekel over Gasol due to the added dimension he’d bring and to give them some three point shooting. The lack of defense and three point shooting keeps them from being in the top 3.
3. Chaps
Nikola Jokic, Danny Grange, Theodoros Papaloukas, Tyreese Breshers
The most versatile team since they can go big or play traditional. They would be the most fun team to watch since their top 3 are all good passers. Granger is dreamy AF. I moved them up since they were able to hang onto Brashers. They’re the only team that could matchup with both of the top two teams.
2. Hawks
Roy Hibbert, Antonio Gates, Rodney McCray, Derrick Coleman
This team would physically beat the shit out of teams and be impossible to keep off the glass. Their length and size could make up for the lack of pure quickness against the teams with great guards. They’re also the only team that seems to have 2 cheat code players (Gates and Derrick Coleman). Gates with his size is able to play point forward and punish teams that would guard him with an SG or PG. I had Randolph on the squad before seeing Coleman’s PS and sim 1 stats.
1. Knicks
Kyrie Irving, Joel Embiid, Wilson Chandler, Dave Jamerson
This team has the most traditional and well rounded makeup of any team. They check all the boxes with an elite PG, two way big, glue guy wing and sharpshooting two guard. Kyrie/Embiid PnR would be the most difficult combo to guard and the third defender wouldn’t be able to help off Jamerson. Chandler would provide enough size and rebounding to help out Embiid.
4.0 Greats That I Can't Wait For in 6.0
Moving on.
A few years ago my friend put together an all time NBA draft with 30 teams (I didn’t participate). Eric did me a big favor by giving his thoughts on every team and providing his critiques. It was amazing and supposedly they were all dying to follow Eric on twitter.
Moving on.
Based on this info which I’ll put at the very bottom of the post since it’s very long, I'll include a link to the spreadsheet for the draft too. These rankings are also from my rough memory of who Eric has besmirched before.
Link to All Time NBA Draft:
They did eight rounds and had to pick a coach. Weren't really too strict with positions.
docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/10Ef8m5y6QeNADC_ZHw0gkbJETQH-ZffHG4JjAO5nRsE/edit?usp=sharing
Here's what Eric's full thoughts were on the draft.
i took everyone's career WS/48 and projected out a season total for everyone, but didn't use it as gospel because of eras, fits, etc.
there's three elite teams and six real good ones that i marked.
raptors 59
way too many one dimensional scorer types. granted, they're all really really good scorer types, but only one guy gets to shoot per play. need a lot more defending, shooting. four guys standing around in the midrange isn't gonna work.
76ers 62
lot of good second banana types. should definitely start Cooper over Simmons so they have a prayer defensively, especially with D'Antoni coaching.
celtics 66
Karl Malone couldn't defend guys his own size, and you want him to chase around smaller guys? good luck with that. this team is STACKED with players who put up great stats until it mattered, love them as a first round massive upset pick in the hypothetical playoffs.
knicks 69 ELITE
the best of the best. Chauncey is severely underrated as a player and is a perfect superstar for this kind of exercise, Kawhi when healthy is the best player in the league, Davis is a little overrated but his defensive deficiencies are covered up by Kawhi/Embiid, it's extremely early to tell anything about Mitchell but even if he busts Arenas slots in extremely well to that role, or you can go nuclear with Mitchell 3 Kawhi 4. everyone in the lineup can shoot, there's great length, Sabonis is legendary icing on the cake. great job.
nets 58
yucky yuck yuck. Kyrie couldn't get along with LeBron James and you think it's gonna work with Kobe? at least they've got well known calming presence Draymond Green to keep the locker room together.
cavaliers 62
some good, some bad. Moses is a fine centerpiece. Horford and Allen are great picks - defend, shoot, pass, don't hog the ball. Dantley always put up elite stats but his teams never did anything, and the Pistons infamously added by subtracting him.
i can't believe this team doesn't have the worst third round pick of a player surnamed Rose, but man, D Rose here is a huge reach. he could never shoot or defend, his one skill was dominating the ball and scoring, which is the worst possible skill to have on a dream team. being taken two picks ahead of Billups is especially glaring but even undrafted guys like George Hill or Mark Price would be a dramatic improvement on the team's fit.
pacers 56
not sure why the stats hate this team so much. Nash and Cousins is a horrific fit, but at least Cousins can shoot a little unlike Shaq, and Steve did get to 46 wins even with decrepit Shaq. McGrady and a largely immobile center didn't work out too terribly well either. i like a super small lineup of Nash Conley McGrady Mullin Millsap, but i'd like it even more if Indiana had grabbed a stretch big like Rashard Lewis or Detlef Schrempf instead of useless Jamal Crawford. GM Doc sabotaging head coach Doc yet again smh
bucks 57
there aren't even enough touches for Westbrook and Iverson, let alone fitting in MVP Bob McAdoo. nobody on the team can shoot, Nelson loves small ball and the only option of the bench is yet another high volume inefficient combo guard, what is even going on here.
pistons 60 GOOD
Moncrief is the most egregious hall of fame snub in basketball. super elite defender, scores with efficiency, part of a supremely underrated 80s Bucks team. Klay Thompson is a great fit in the backcourt. neither of them can facilitate full time but on a dream team you don't really need that kind of player. Hakeem is obviously the gold standard for two way big play.
the spacing is a little tight and i'd have liked a Korver/Peja type instead of Marion. it's shocking that Tyson Chandler fell to the seventh round, i might even start him next to Hakeem, who was excellent switching onto the perimeter. this would make adding a pure shooter over Marion even more palatable, three DPOYs give a lot more slack.
also surprised Carlisle dropped so far. i think he's overrated considering he hasn't won a playoff round since 2011, but compared to Byron Scott i mean come on.
bulls 53
Bird is a fine start. he shouldn't go ahead of Magic or several other players but it's fine. Rodman in the second round is a reach. drafting Ben Wallace right after makes absolutely no sense. they're the same player - great defender, great rebounder, massive offensive liability. if you really have to draft another big here, at least get a guy who cracked 45% from the line for his career.
it didn't go downhill from there but it didn't go very far uphill either. this team is a mess, and i'm gonna go right ahead and underestimate the heart of a champion.
heat 50
Wade is a great player who can play well with other greats. unfortunately there aren't any on this team. pretty easily the worst team in the draft. good move getting Auerbach in the third round, he'll trade everyone on the team for Joel Embiid and build a dynasty.
wizards 56
they'd probably never get a national tv game but i like the composition of this team, lot of hard nosed toughness players and also LaMarcus Aldridge, boom, roasted. the spacing is probably not workable even with elite shooter Allan Houston but that's what JR and Nate off the bench are for, and Russell and Worthy are both solid secondary passers. this is a team that's going to try to win each game 45-44 which is great for college basketball fans but here in the real world it's garbage.
hornets 61
aside from Hal Greer this has to be an all time great fuccboi team. Elgin retired from a team that went on to win 33 straight and a title, if Charles Barkley chased rings as hard as he chased doughnuts he'd be Bill Russell, Deron Williams' hairline, David Thompson skywalked his way right out of the league. there is talent on this team but it's a mish mosh of parts.
magic 65 ELITE
this team is elite. you've got your GOAT, you've got an elite rim protector, you've got spacing with Peja and another elite perimeter defender in Clyde who demonstrably doesn't mind sharing the ball with a dominant perimeter player (Earl Monroe). the Larry Johnson pick is the head scratcher, at that point you're really looking for more floor spacing since neither MJ nor Clyde are three point threats, and Cheap Shot Rob Horry is sitting right there. or you can go with an upside play with Karl-Anthony Towns. but the Magic salvage it with Shane Battier, and it's a travesty he lasted to the seventh round.
they can play ground and pound with Grandmama, or they can play basketball with Battier at power forward, and when Horry starts a fight because he has no moral fiber you've got Oakley there to clean house.
hawks 56
i assume this team is designed to cause Tim Duncan to bug his eyes so far out of his head they fall out, and great job if so. Starbury and Metta alone are enough shenanigans for the job, throw in Rip Hamilton's goofball free throw routine and Pat Riley's blowhard antics and it's over.
trail blazers 72 GOOD
the stats LOVE this team, i'm not so sure it would work out IRL. it's the first team i've seen where every player was a legit star in their era, but a lot of those eras were 40+ years ago. Pitchin' Paul Arizin and Billy Cunningham were elite for white guys who played next to Wilt Chamberlain, does that translate at all to the modern NBA? hard to see the Kangaroo Kid ripping down 13 boards a night these days. Stockton shot 38% from three for his career, he'd do just fine, and with him and Ginobili the ball is going to fly around, sometimes into the other team's hands but those are the breaks.
put this team in the 60s and they're a juggernaut. but put any recent elite player in the 60s and they're a juggernaut, so i don't love their chances.
thunder 73 GOOD
as above, but in the 50s. good luck getting past McCarthy, Drazen. they were all so great in their eras i feel like they'd at least be good in modern day, but who knows.
jazz 63
this team pretty clearly went with all secondary types after their centerpiece, which is a smart chemistry idea. one of the ways to get around not having enough shooting is to be a great passing team, but between Shaq who thought he could pass but couldn't and McHale who didn't even know the word pass existed, that's out the window. Joey Two-Phones and Paulie California can shoot just fine, so that's alright. i don't get the point of Tony Parker on this team at all - we saw a great pick and roll point guard (Steve Nash) play with Shaq and we all really regretted it. i feel like a Lillard type is the way to go there, you still have a guy with juice off the dribble but he's not a liability without the ball, and you're not losing anything on the defensive end because there was nothing there to lose heyooo
every time Isaiah Thomas has been on a team with another very good player it's blown up theatrically. every time Tony Allen has been in the modern playoffs he's been run off the floor. really don't like either of those picks for this exercise. i'd rather have even a 3 and D scrub like Sefolosha, at this point it's more about fit than throwing in more raw talent.
timberwolves 64
there's a lot of awards hardware on this team, but i can't imagine it working out. Westphal was (briefly) a fantastic scorer but just double him and triple Wilt and how does this team score. Bob Cousy's 38 FG% isn't gonna cut it. on the other end, how do you defend with two point guards and three centers?
swapping in Ibaka for Brand is a no brainer, but without any actual wings i don't see this team doing anything.
nuggets 55
you don't want to put too many #1 guys on the same team. but you probably want to have at least one, and Wes Unseld isn't the guy. instead of Pop - Nique the nuggets could have had CP3 - Kawhi, or at least Nash - Allen. Yao is a good get in the third round but by that point the damage was done.
warriors 57
Magic is a top five all time player, so you can't go wrong drafting him. once you do, though, you need to get players who defend down a position for the rest of your perimeter, a la Byron Scott the "shooting guard", Jamaal Wilkes the "small forward", etc. the warriors didn't do that. and they didn't even get guys who were all that good, even though Mitch Richmond's HoF is overly maligned.
i love the offensive capability of this team with Magic and all that shooting, but Zo is the only plus defender, and even though he's a big plus i don't think trying to win 170-160 is viable. now, what if we grab Klay Thompson instead of Mitch Richmond? his whole career he's been guarding PGs for a guy who can't and doing a reasonable job of it. and what if instead of Glenn Robinson we go with Danny Green? yeah, now we're talking! but we didn't do that. so this team isn't great.
clippers 67 GOOD
there's a lot to like about this team. Black Jesus and Scottie Pippen both did pretty well for themselves playing next to a HoF guard. Amar'e before his injuries was a truly elite offensive player - how does 70% at the rim and 47% on long twos over 10k minutes grab you? Larry Nance gives you some interior defense, or flip to Rashard Lewis for some floor spacing. Jason Terry can make dumb airplane gestures to distract Byron Scott from messing up your team for you. it's not a top team, but it's the top of the second tier for sure.
lakers 66 GOOD
it's inconceivable Steph Curry lasted to 1.20. add in Harden and you have the ideal scoring backcourt - two extraordinarily efficient players, don't mind sharing the floor with another primary handler, and whose elite skills (shooting off the dribble, drawing fouls) are essentially unstoppable and fundamentally warp opposing defenses. even if we were playing in the 70s, i'll take curry's ability to drain 45% of his looks from 25 feet whenever he wants.
obviously there are huge question marks defensively with this pairing, and the rest of the team is a reasonably good effort to cover that. Gobert's defensive prowess is well established and DeBusschere made six All-Defensive first teams. Giannis is to me too much of a wildcard. yes his arms are 19 feet long, yes he's an explosive athlete who makes all kinds of highlight reel plays... but if he's actually good, why is his team struggling to break .500? i'd rather have a Shane Battier type here, a reliable defender and shooter.
kings 54
Julius Erving struggled his whole career with unreliable front offices. this team drafted Jalen Rose in the third round and Mark Jackson as a coach. the Doctor should feel right at home.
suns 59
no idea what this team is doing. if you want to run a twin inner hub offense with Garnett and Love so you don't need a traditional point guard, great, but what are Vince and Grant doing for you without the ball in their hands? who's chasing the opposing point guard over screens, Kyle Korver? instead of getting cute with Carter at PG, a Chauncey Billups or even a Jimmy Butler type would have really brought this team together.
spurs 54
Jerry West is a real solid first pick. Mr. Outside was supposedly an elite defender and had plenty of range, which is a great combo. the Isiah pick is really befuddling. you've already got your point guard, and West is dramatically better. there's also a lot of overlap between Shawn Kemp and Kristaps Porzingis as black hole big fellas with solid outside games, but at least they're both spacing the floor, unlike Isiah "career 29% from three" Thomas. Jamal Mashburn seems like just a guy. you don't want too many chefs, true, but there are more interesting role players.
rockets 63 ELITE
i love the first four picks. Durant behind Oscar, Karl, Kobe is a joke. Payton is a bit of a reach in the second since he was a way worse shooter than you'd think, but Bosh and Gasol are massive steals. Gasol and Payton defense speaks for itself, Durant is a defensive minus when playing out of position but sliding him up to power forward with two competent wings is a recipe for enormous success.
unfortunately the rockets drafted DeMar DeRozan.
you'd love to see a Michael Cooper type there, roll out a Payton - Cooper - Beal - Durant - Gasol lineup and it's over for you bros. i even like DeAndre as a PnR changeup or big body to jostle with a 70s style team. and to be fair, DeRozan isn't that bad. this is an elite team even with him, but could be the clear #1 with This One Weird Trick.
pelicans 55
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar had success only when playing with an elite supersized point guard. Victor Oladipo is not that guy. this roster looks a lot more like the 'repeatedly missing the playoffs' Cap of the mid 70s. KAT and KAJ is extremely tantalizing but adding Carmelo exacerbates the defensive weakness of KAT and doesn't add anything at all. you want everyone to stand around watching an iso scoring opportunity? it's called a sky hook, and Kareem actually made them efficiently. there's no pace, the bench is a joke, the coach is a hack.
mavericks 70 GOOD
the perimeter is pretty interesting. none of the guys are legit superstars you'd want to build a team around, but they're all really really really good and two way players. Oscar and Butler would usually come to blows within about two seconds of the first practice but everyone's profound respect for George Mikan and George Mikan's glasses would defuse the tempers. Aguirre and Hayward were both severely overrated at different points in their careers but look real good as instant offense bench guys. Mikan's game wouldn't translate to the modern NBA but nobody who was that good would be completely hopeless, so i'll give this team a solid very good rating, and without having to spend money on players Calipari would have plenty of resources to bribe the refs instead, so you've got that going for you.
grizzlies 64
i'm legitimately mad that this is the roster LeBron got saddled with. it's hard to have to wait two whole rounds to pick again, but Dwight Howard / Tim Hardaway? really? REALLY?
REALLY???
Pau or Bosh instead of Dwight, Klay or Chauncey instead of Hardaway, and then we'd be on to something. Andre Iguodala is overrated but at least he fits the premise. pairing Blake and Dwight is gross at all, let alone on a team with LeBron. i can't even with this
*5.0 GMs stfu about how good or bad they were before, these are my thoughts and you can’t change them. Eric has spoken…to me.
Players I'm Confident Will Start With Great Builds
(Excluding the obvious of Jordan, Lebron, Curry, Magic, Harden & Hakeem)
5. Chauncey Billups
“Chauncey is severely underrated as a player and is a perfect superstar for this kind of exercise.” - Eric
May not be a Kyrie or CP3 type of elite scoring PG, but a Theodoros Papaloukas type of career seems highly possible. I'm confident Billups will be made elite defensively.
4. Sidney Moncrief
“Moncrief is the most egregious hall of fame snub in basketball. super elite defender, scores with efficiency, part of a supremely underrated 80s Bucks team.” - Eric
I don't think I need to say anything more.
3. Jerry West(Excluding the obvious of Jordan, Lebron, Curry, Magic, Harden & Hakeem)
5. Chauncey Billups
“Chauncey is severely underrated as a player and is a perfect superstar for this kind of exercise.” - Eric
May not be a Kyrie or CP3 type of elite scoring PG, but a Theodoros Papaloukas type of career seems highly possible. I'm confident Billups will be made elite defensively.
4. Sidney Moncrief
“Moncrief is the most egregious hall of fame snub in basketball. super elite defender, scores with efficiency, part of a supremely underrated 80s Bucks team.” - Eric
I don't think I need to say anything more.
“Jerry West is a real solid first pick. Mr. Outside was supposedly an elite defender and had plenty of range, which is a great combo. the Isiah pick is really befuddling. you've already got your point guard, and West is dramatically better.” - Eric
Whole league is desperate for PGs that can score. I think Eric has too much respect the logo and game to not give him all the tools to become elite.
2. Ama're Stoudamire
“Amar'e before his injuries was a truly elite offensive player - how does 70% at the rim and 47% on long twos over 10k minutes grab you?” - Eric
Al Horford/Derrick Coleman type of big? Yao Ming seems like a very safe pick for 1.1 this year but wouldn’t fault Skrouse on swinging for the fences by taking Amare since he should have very high potential.
1. Arvydas Sabonis
“Sabonis is legendary icing on the cake.” - Eric
I’m making plenty assumptions here, he seems tailor made for this iteration of the league. May not be as lucky with the shot blocking like Jokic and Webber, should though be in that same realm of good scoring, rebounding and assists to turnovers.
Players I'd Worry About
5. Karl Malone
“Karl Malone couldn't defend guys his own size, and you want him to chase around smaller guys? good luck with that.” - Eric
What can I say about Karl Malone that hasn’t already been said about Terry Mills. Malone likely won’t be as shitty a rebounder but there is little to no chance he becomes a two-way big.
4. Ben Simmons
He’s proving to be not that good irl, then we've seen shout and the threads on Ben. He could be an interesting pure inside offense type of PG if he’s allowed to play that position. If not, his only hope is as a defense & rebounding SF/PF, not what you want from a "star".
3. Bob Cousy/Isiah Thomas
“Bob Cousy's 38 FG% isn't gonna cut it. on the other end.” - Eric
“Isiah "career 29% from three" Thomas” - Eric
Yikes, guess we're going to get some Russell Westbrook type builds with lower potential.
2. Steve Francis
See Gary Payton, the turnovers are going to be bad so hopefully he can rebound well enough to play SG. Will take time for him to develop too since his inside display inside grade should be a lot of jumping. Derrick Rose seems like his best possible build.5. Karl Malone
“Karl Malone couldn't defend guys his own size, and you want him to chase around smaller guys? good luck with that.” - Eric
What can I say about Karl Malone that hasn’t already been said about Terry Mills. Malone likely won’t be as shitty a rebounder but there is little to no chance he becomes a two-way big.
4. Ben Simmons
He’s proving to be not that good irl, then we've seen shout and the threads on Ben. He could be an interesting pure inside offense type of PG if he’s allowed to play that position. If not, his only hope is as a defense & rebounding SF/PF, not what you want from a "star".
3. Bob Cousy/Isiah Thomas
“Bob Cousy's 38 FG% isn't gonna cut it. on the other end.” - Eric
“Isiah "career 29% from three" Thomas” - Eric
Yikes, guess we're going to get some Russell Westbrook type builds with lower potential.
2. Steve Francis
1. Allen Iverson
I don't have any receipts of Eric shitting on Iverson, but I can recall seeing disparaging comments and the analytics hate AI. Potential condolences to Trofie, fitting that he drafted Chris Jackson because that seems comparable to where Iverson could start. Can we please bring back the reward that allowed a GM to make a player as a lifetime achievement award for Trofie? All the guy wants during his sim lifetime is to have one good version of Allen Iverson, please.
Going to try something new and do a bonus non-sim related topic to see how this goes. The below came from my off the wall thoughts after an edible this past weekend.
Warning, don't open if you're using your work computer or viewing in public.
Current NBA Figures America Wants on Blacked.com
5. Jabari Parker (with Rachel Nichols)
First thing, Jabari is obviously well proportioned relative to his height. Feel terrible for him that this was captured as I’m sure we’ve all been there at one point, we at least had a textbook or backpack to conceal it.
This is a two-for, I’m including Rachel Nichols because it’s topical and this would provide some damage control for her. Your probably yelling right now Fason, you idiot. Rachel Nichols is way too thicc for Blacked, they prefer girls that are petite! I’m willing to bet they’d make an exception for this PAWG.
4. Kawhi Leonard
There isn’t any photographic evidence out there of Kawhi’s piece, but I’m including him based on the principal of big hands. Dude could palm a watermelon and hold enough fruit to embarrass Druce. My only concern is that he might be a male starfish/pillow princess.
3. Serge Ibaka
What we can gather from this picture is that little Keri Hilson is obviously a size queen and that compression short technology has saved this man's thighs from taking a beating with that bad boy clanging and banging everywhere. Serge is who I think should be the ladies choice for number 1. He has a cooking show on YouTube where he cooks things like snake and bull penis so you know he has no inhibitions on eating anything.
2. Lebron James
Yea, you’re going to need to zoom in, not good. For over two decades thots have been speculating and making assumptions on Lebron based off his stature and bow leggedness. What a letdown if arguably the greatest and most impressive athlete of all time has possibly a small to average piece (compared to height). I say possibly for 2 reasons, first is he obviously grows instead shows and second is that high activity is known to cause shrinkage. Google says “When men exercise, they may temporarily experience shrinking testicles and a small penis sometimes referred to as a gym dick. Don't fear. A slightly smaller penis is simply a short-term physiological effect, and while it may not make locker rooms any more comfortable, it's nothing to be concerned about.”
Keep hope alive!
While I doubt he grows enough to come close to Serge Ibaka flaccid or Kawhi. I’m betting he’s bigger than say a Paul George and his shit doesn’t severely lean in one direction like Draymond Green.
1. Becky Hammon
First I want to say it’s BS that the irl Blazers didn’t hire her, obvious case of lookism.
As far as Blacked.com, I’m not sure their servers could handle the traffic a Becky appearance would cause. Imagine Kim Kardashian’s champagne “break the internet”, now triple that hysteria.
Look at her, she is just so sexy and drop dead gorgeous. I’m going to stop myself here before I make anyone uncomfortable.
